Fair?

Have you ever rant about your sibling(s)? I did, a lot, and still does sometimes. It is more towards my sister though. I've no idea why it isn't my brother, but maybe because my brother seems to be older than us, so he is away from us (in U.K. for his tertiary education) most of the time.

My sister and I have been enemies the moment we set eyes on each other. Heh. We have been arguing and fighting ever since I remember, and we still do, but more with the arguing than fighting, and not that often. Thank God for that. Being an older sister, I demand respect from my younger sister, and it is exactly what she doesn't give a damn about, which pisses me off. She is really quite a strong, hard-headed, independent, sometimes-irritating young lady. I salute her for being a tough girl, because, unlike her, I am more of a softie and indecisive person.

I used to think that it isn't fair that the world seems to evolves around her. Ever since young, my parents had been pampering her because she is the youngest child. When I'm 9, I am told that I'm a big girl, and thus, I need to be independent, and when SHE's 9, I'm told that she is still young, and needs to be taken care of more. See how silly my parents would sound like to me? *Laughs

It is true that I used to hate the lack of attention my parents gave me compared to my siblings, and to think back, it is still a fact that my parents really don't pay much attention to me compared to my siblings. No one could deny that. But what I came to realize is, that doesn't mean they don't love me as much as my siblings. Yes, my parents does pampers my sister more, to the point that even SHE knew that she could get away with anything, thus her stubbornness. My brother is usually the one that gets strict family-education, if one would put it that way. He is the eldest and the only son of the family, and one could only imagine the kind of pressure and expectations my parents put on him. My dad is strict when it comes to my brother, more lenient towards me and more forgiving when it comes to my sister. My mom, I think, tends to go between my brother, then my sister, and then more to my brother, me, then to my brother. What do people say? Women change their minds like they change their clothes.

I had to wonder, as the middle child, why isn't the world fair? I mean... Couldn't our parents just give the same attention to us 3? But then it struck me that the world was never fair, and it never will be. Why should it be fair to us? Life never owes us anything to begin with. When it comes the time when my brother went to U.K. for his tertiary studies,  I'm the oldest among my siblings at home. My parents DID start giving me more attention, but I felt pressured and uncomfortable with the sudden spotlight. Weird, because it was what I had always been craving for.

My sister, obviously, grew up, and of course, we, being sisters, still bitch about each other. :D I admit that I don't do a very good job being an elder sister, and does have a fair share annoying her. She has her strong points, as well as her weak points, and so do I. Being fair really isn't what I care about nowadays. I started to care more about my parents, siblings, friends, studies, and myself. I learnt to let go, and live and let live. Too much stress isn't too good for me anyway, so why not just relax and take things slowly? Yes, I still rant about my family, but that doesn't mean I don't love them, right? :)

Stop and stare, 

You think you're moving but you go nowhere,

You start to wonder why you're here, not there,

And you'd give anything to get what's fair,

But fair ain't what you really need...